Bipolar much??

If you know me, you know that my life goes from the dullest, most boring thing in the world- I mean the Vanilla-ist Vanilla there is- straight to double fudge brownie covered with whipped cream and nuts… in the BLINK of an eye… I have come to realize that my life is the epitome of Bipolar… NO, no, not me! My life… the crazy things that just seem magnetically drawn to me- only to leave me the next day eating that sundae on my couch in my pajamas… Up and Down like a roller coaster… Yep- that is my life. I mean, i am a good person, right? I teach, I do charity work… I am a good mom… but then BAM- I am stuck in the middle of some psycho drama that has appeared out of nowhere… I know what you are thinking… it must be the people that I surround myself with… but, no- I have thought about that- but that really isn’t it either… I mean, i can be driving down the road- minding my own business- listening to my Christian music station with the windows down- when some craziness lands square on top of my head. Has nothing to do with anyone- just in the wrong place at the wrong time… has nothing to do with people in my life at all. Really…  I was driving down the road Friday, for example, and pulled into CVS to drop off my scripts- and tried to turn out of the pharmacy into oncoming traffic and BAM- my steering goes out… suddenly, I am in the middle of oncoming traffic, trying to beg my huge Tahoe to either work or just let me get to the side of the road. People are screaming- giving me the finger- like I WANTED to be sitting there blocking them from their trip to Chick-fil-a. I mean, I know how important that sweet chicken with just the right amount of pickles is to someone’s life. And the sweet tea, DON’T get me started. So I am the last one that wants to be blocking these folks from their yummy meal… But here I am- doing just that. I have to use what I can only describe as full on Mommy strength to turn that wheel. I mean I was seriously standing up and using all of my weight to turn that sucker… Finally, much to the glee of the chicken hungry folks I was blocking, I turned the wheel and just drove away as fast as I could- doing the speed limit of course… I drove a few miles and then had to turn again… I get ready- plant my feet in the floor and grab that wheel with all my might- gritting and groaning before I EVEN started turning… and, guess what… The darn thing wasn’t stuck anymore so I am now standing with no seat belt- putting all of my considerable weight into the wheel- which moves freely… catapulting me across the front seat and into the window with my head. Thank the Lord there was not an elderly dog walker chugging down the street at that very time or I would have flattened them all… For a big girl- I am thankfully quick… so I popped myself quickly back into the seat with that- “no, I didnt trip- i was just doing a cute little dance move”- look… and headed on back down the road. Waving at the sheriff’s officers standing outside of the sub-station… no guilt there- none at all. HM… Then, this weekend, I decided to take my freelance career up a notch so I signed in to all of these awesome freelancer sites to apply for jobs that I could do and make money at while not leaving the house… I mean, it is summer and summer school is out for a week- plus it is only M-Th anyway-  and my class didn’t make this summer so I have no college course I am teaching now- so, why not? Anyway… I get on these sites and start applying. And I get HITS! How awesome! I start being considered for multiple jobs right out of the shoot! I am on cloud nine- I love being productive and obviously they can tell that I am an AWESOME writer, right?? Right?? OK- I don’t know about that- but at least I was being considered for several positions. The first person that reached out to me was wanting to hire me for data-entry. No problem- not a writing gig- but at least it would give me something constructive to do for a few hours, right? She talked to me through the jobsite a few times, and then said it was time for an interview. I provided my SKYPE info and my ZOOM info so we could chat face to face… but, instead, she wanted me to use HANGOUTS- which is frowned upon in this kind of transaction… but, I decided I would be FINE… right? So, I log on and make contact with the…gentleman… who wants to do the Interview. He starts out by telling me he doesn’t know if he wants to do it today because he is in a bad mood… Hmmm… what do you say to the person interviewing you for a job when he says that… sorry you are having a bad day? I am available tomorrow if you want to wait until then… Well, of course, there is only one position available- so we have to go forth and by my comment he could tell I would be a wonderful employee…  OK… so, on with the interview… even though i could tell English was his second language, I thought- maybe that is why he is hiring someone with a good command over the language- to compensate for his issues… NO- my forehead is NOT stamped with the word SUCKER… but I did want to give him the benefit … maybe I was just jaded, right? So- we go ahead- and I can tell he is cutting and pasting his words… OK- I tell myself- maybe he is using a translation website and cutting the translated text from there… could happen, right? When he repeats the same line 5 1/2 times- yeah the last time it was only HALF the sentence- he explained this by saying his connection was having issues… sounds legit.. He then sends me a website- their “company” website. and tells me I need to go over it for 5 full minutes before we continue the interview… So- I did. Since I am a speed reader- I was done in advance- but sat there going back over everything in case he was timing me… the website was very nice- very professional- so it gave the interview a little more… creedence… (NOT the Revival kind)… He then told me I would answer 3 questions based on the website… thank goodness I actually read it… We get to question 3- and here it is… He says- do you have a checking account… HM… I said- Yes- ok- we need your banking information… OK- do you have a secure site for that… and why are we not using Paypal or the site’s payment instructions… he said the company required checking info… HM… I didn’t answer- so he then begins accusing me… and I am TOTALLY serious here… accusing me of hurting his feelings and making him feel bad…. WOW… Suddenly I am interviewing with a 3 year old.. hurting his wittle feewings… I thanked him for the interview and told him I was no longer interested- to which he was NOT professional in his response… so I blocked him AND reported them to the job site who promptly blocked them from the site… BUT, come ON… does this happen to other people? Do these bipolar life episodes just jump out of nowhere to make your perfectly normal day… crazy? Have you ever put a 25lb bag of sugar into the grocery cart- went down 3 aisles and stopped to compare prices only to find a huge MOUND of sugar blocking your cart- realizing that 25lb bag is almost empty with most of it UNDER your buggy- and the rest trailing you like gun powder in a Bugs Bunny Cartoon… through THREE AISLES… then, you find your child on all 4s eating the mound of sugar with his face… NO no no- I swear- didn’t make that up… Really! So- what in the HECK can we do with a life that is seriously Mentally Ill… a life that changes at the speed of my high pitched voice screaming my child’s name almost unintelligibly when I see him eating sugar off the floor??? How do we keep putting one foot in front of the other when that craziness goes WAY past the grocery store and plops you in the middle of a full blown ..crap storm… the kind of things that lasts more than one day- the kind of tumultuous event that hurts your heart and soul… you do the same thing you did in the grocery store- NO, I don’t mean hiding the evidence and sneaking out of the store before someone sees… I mean put one foot in front of the other. Yeah- its that simple. You can’t give your life Lithium…. so what other choice do you have? Ok- yeah, you could stay in bed all day wallowing in your problems- switching between Doritos and Ice Cream as you cry into your pillow… but you can only do that so long until you run out of snacks and have to get up… and, guess what I have, I mean you will, realize… when you are dragging your sloppy makeup smeared, knotted hair self to the bathroom- YOU AIN’T HOVERING… you are doing it already… that whole putting one foot in front of the other… and when you drag your pathetic muk-luk wearing Moomoo covered self to Dollar General for TP and a refill of snacks… yeah, you are doing it again… and that is all it takes… one foot in front of the other… just make sure that those feet walk you into the shower after your big pity party or your life is REALLY going to take a strange turn…