I always like to say- NO, this is not about you- but if the boot fits-lace that thing up and wear it!
NOW that we have that out of the way… I have been thinking about what I like to call the Bro Mistake… It goes something like this… you have a friend- maybe he has been your friend since high school or longer. You knew him before he ever started dating his missus. That gives you some kind of in, right? The knowledge of who he was in the past, things he has done, places he has gone and people he has been with. You may know things about him that no other human knows. OR- he may be a more recent Bro- one that that you met by chance here or there and found that you have a lot in common with. Friends are important. This Bro Mistake, however, is not the norm. This is not having your buddy over for the game and losing track of time kind of mistake. i am talking about something much, much more serious here.
Since you know your Bro so well- you know that he has struggles, right? He has been struggling with sobriety- be it alcohol, drugs… some demon that keeps him from being the man that he needs to be. You may have even had discussions with his wife about it. You have definitely seen the signs. You probably even realize it is tearing his family apart. But, of course, you try not to think about that. You shut it out of your mind. And, when you are ready for a rowdy time- his name is the first one to pop into your head. Never do you think that he may have been sober for a week and standing on a precipice that will get him over one more night… never do you think he is waiting for a sign as to whether quitting is really what he needs to do… never do you think about his family- his wife is a shrew anyway-right? She’s probably the real reason he drinks… so, you send the text, make the call… HEY BRO- and you pull him into what is for you is an occasional night at the bar or hanging out in front of the TV… not caring that you will be able to get up in the morning, take some aspirin and go to work- but what you have done is set your BRO back days, weeks, maybe even months. No, his illness is not your fault- not at all. However, you have seen the signs. Have you thought of reaching out to him? Have you thought of making that BRO call go a little differently? Hey BRO- wanna go to church with me? HEY BRO- how about a cup of coffee??? Why do the BRO calls always involve idiot behaviors? And what happens when your BRO call is answered by the police because your BRO got a DUI on the way to your house? Or home from your night out? What if your BRO kills an innocent family on the road after your night at the bar? Will you answer when your BRO calls because he has nowhere to live because his wife and family have had enough? Is he a close enough BRO for you 7 days a week- living in your house? Or, is he only there for comic relief? Maybe I am naive- but if he is truly your BRO…that is short for brother, right? If he is truly your BRO- dont you care enough about him to HELP him? To ENCOURAGE him? To PRAY for him? And not just to be the call he DOESNT need to get? The BRO who leads more into BROKEN and away from BROTHER? Real men need true Brothers and less BROs who just, basically, don’t really give a damn about them past the fun night out. How about being a true Brother? Reach out to your friend- help him with his sobriety. Help him be the man that he CAN be- that he SHOULD be- that his family NEEDS him to be. If you can’t do that… then lose his number and find another BRO- they are everywhere… of that I am sure.